Some Cocoa Butter, Please

So, aside from the fact that my very nicely compartmentalized heart —  mended all tidy-like from a year of therapy and some really fun drugs — has been torn to shreds in less than a week when I finally decided to let it be vulnerable again, I wanted to let you all know that contrary to my previous post, not everything in life is the utter crap-show I made it sound like. Some reasons:

  • The weather is nice and I have two pumpkins. Considering from the first purchase until Halloween I average about two pumpkins a day, the tally this year will be epic. This is key to my autumnal happiness.
  • I snapped up a 4″ Shining Armor pony (he’s kind of smexy) and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Monopoly, the latter of which is sure to provide hours of drunken amusement. Pinkie Pie will be screaming, “CANTERLOT IS MIIIIINE. WITH TWO COTTAGES, 700 BITS!”
  • I go to the gastroenterologist tomorrow. That doesn’t sound exciting, but keeping all the Bao parts in prime working order is becoming a big priority post-30. And who doesn’t love a barium milkshake!?
  • iOS 7 produces effects similar to being on mushrooms. Really. Using my iPhone is now like swiping Psilocybin AND BOOM! You’re manning the helm on the newly-designed Enterprise bridge from Star Trek.
  • Oh yeah, chapter ten turned out to be CHAPTERS TEN AND ELEVEN, which is happy news, as it’s (1) one less chapter needed writing, and (2) there’s some pretty big character development, and I hope it gives the reader some insight into some of the protagonists’/antagonists’/non-tagonists’ motivations. There’s also a big WAIT WUT? clue in there, and I hope that when the beta readers finish chapter eleven, they’re wondering about certain connections. Or lack thereof. (Beta-readers will be getting copies tomorrow.)

So, okay, that was a crummy list, and I know I’m whinging… but hey, what is an author supposed to do with his blog? Still, there are some good things to look forward to, like the new Sailor Moon musical, Downton Abbey (hope it doesn’t suck like last series), Strictly Come Dancing, and getting to level 50 white mage in FFXIV. Crap, I sound pathetic.

WELL, I LOVE MY FRIENDS.

In conclusion, reinforcing my new-found calling as Drunken Enlightened Buddha (DEB), I give you all out there a big ol’ fortune cookie of advice: never sign up to be someone’s emotional surrogate; sure, it doesn’t seem like a long period of time at first, but the stretch marks will last forever.

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Brian

I studied and lived in Japan, got a Master's Degree in Sociology from the University of Oxford, and now I write SFF novels about cerebral people suffering post-modern angst who cope by drinking lots of wine. And magic.

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