Happy October!
I’ve long thought the woods around me have been haunted, especially in the autumn months. You can feel a kind of cloying darkness in the night air, and sometimes even the moon (normally my ally) looks at you suspiciously.
I’m house-sitting at the moment, normally a source of great joy for me because I enjoy the alone time, but of course, the spirits, as always, appear to have it out for me. Around 23:00 last night, the security system goes off, a terrifying noise (especially when one is tucked into bed and trying to sleep!), and I was at a complete loss of what to do.
Was someone in the house? Was I about to be murdered? I’m one of those Americans who doesn’t have a gun, so in true coward fashion, I locked myself in my room and waited for the police to come. I contemplated using my MacBook Pro as a bludgeoning device but considered it was probably worth more than my body.
There were no attempts at forced entry as far as anyone could tell, so the police wrote it off as a ‘glitch in the system.’ Very comforting. I did what any crazy young man with an overactive imagination would do: I sat awake in bed with a vodka on the rocks, popped a Xanax, and watched My Little Pony for two hours while clutching an eight-inch chef’s knife.
Don’t expect much productivity from me today!
