Dear Christina

This is not a love letter. It is not a manifestation of a new personality. In fact, Christina happens to be the lovely receptionist at Fred Astaire Manasquan, where I learn dance moves with fancy names like “twinkle to grapevine” (I’m dead serious; that’s a move).

Entrant 302
Look! It’s me!

Dear Christina: the other day you told me you weren’t sure what to write in a blog, asked me what I write about, and how often I update my blog. I’m not sure I answered very well. Then I told myself I simply had to post something today, as I haven’t in some time, and I found that I, too, have no idea what to write.

I could babble about my experience at the Snowflake Showdown, which was both terrifying and exhilarating (wink wink, Christina: there’s a blog topic for you); perhaps readers might want to hear how I leveled up Agnès in Bravely Default to a level ten White Mage (highly, highly doubtful). I might also divulge that the increasing muscle mass on my calves has caused me to split a pair of trousers (pictures forthcoming).

On a more grounded note — this is where I use the blog for its intended purpose of progress updates (Christina!) — I am mentally prepared to finish up Apprentice so it looks we’re still cruising along the track toward a summer release, though not May, as was the case with the first novel. I just really have to buckle down and write the heck out of a few scenes. I think a trip to the pub is in order.

Ultimately, though, Christina, my muse of the day, when you feel like you have to blog but don’t have much to say, just post a picture of a cat like the rest of the internet.

Our Time Has Come

Bao’s Book of Medicine

Those who are lucky enough to bask in the gloriousness that is my company know that seldom am I taken ill. Colds, cough, flu, even TB (much to my dismay: I planned on going out, hacking and sputtering, with the consumption for some time now) bounce off, though this past weekend left me in bed sneezing my brains out. I even rescheduled a dance lesson. Gasp.

Perhaps I wasn’t prescribing to my own advice: drink a cold away. Yes, rule number one, if you feel sick, take a suitable amount of vodka to sterilize and kill all those bacteria/germs. This has the wonderful side effect of making you feel good as well. And for those of you worried about reactions like the so-called “hangover” — worry not; just start from step one and soon you’ll be feeling fine again. Forever.

Shining Armor and Bao's Magical Mystery Cure
Shining Armor doesn’t just prescribe… he DIVES into Bao Medicine!

In any case, I spent most of the weekend feeling like something Elvira would watch (and, probably, looking not far removed from it, too). I think I got zero work done, which means this week — the week where I seem to have something to do every night — I really have to pick up the pace and sort out Apprentice. That book needs finishin’!

Fingers crossed, we’ll have something rough-and-tumble by the end of February. Hopefully.

Bondage and Self-Worth

…were two of the wonderful things I got to babble about in my library talk at the Ocean County Library last night (I referenced 50 Shades of Grey and Twilight). It was nerve-wracking, as I haven’t spoken publicly since my Oxford days, but the people who came out — despite the cold — were warm and receptive, and asked some really great questions. And hey, I sold a few books, which means Lenna’s story is making the rounds again! Yahoo!

Now that Librarian‘s audiobook and its promotions are more or less done, I can focus on the big task at hand: FINISHING APPRENTICE. I’m hoping to knock out the last few chapters during February, then send it out for copy editing in March or April. Get excited: I will be looking for people to read the galley/ARC (look, I use publishing terms now)!

Crashpow Through January

Jeepers, I never thought 2014 would kick off with such a bang. Where is my free time? Where is my relaxation? (If anyone mentions the new Zelda for Nintendo 3DS, they will get kicked in the shin. IT WAS ONE DAY.)

First-read commentary on chapters seven and eight for Apprentice have arrived from our lovely James, so after incorporating some annotations into the first draft, I can get to red-penning again. Huzzah.

The audiobook version of Librarian should be up on Amazon/Audible/iTunes next week, assuming the quality check at ACX goes smoothly. Fingers crossed! #amirite

I’m also currently reviewing a book, Welcome to New Brooklyn, for fellow author, Tom Hobbs; it’s exciting to be more active in the writing community. You can find more info on Tom over at kindlemojo.

This has been a pretty tame update from me, eh? Zero swearing! Zero mentions of ponies! Forgive me my lack of entertaining news to share; puppy-sitting left me quite exhausted!

Puppy Intervention
It’s hard to work when a German Shepherd puppy gets between you and the laptop.

Nothing Wrong with Eight Inches

Fenceland in Wintertime
Fenceland in Wintertime

I love a good snowstorm, the kind that forces you to sit inside and… do some work. Don’t worry; I am actually working on Apprentice, though we’re mucking about a bit in a wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey scene at the moment and I require lots of irrelevant snippets of paper, thumbtacks, and, very soon, the OLD SCHOOL CORK BOARD SHALL RETURN.

The audiobook version of Librarian is complete and as soon as it hits the distributors, I’ll let you know. I’ll also, similarly to my first run of hardcover/paperbacks of the novel, offer signed audio CDs with a special message from me exclusively for sale on my website. Stay tuned for details. 😀

Also, don’t forget! I’m giving an amazing, socially-relevant talk at the Toms River branch of the Ocean County Library on Tuesday, 28 January at 19:00 EST! Sign up here!

The Day the Ponies Danced

The Day the Ponies Danced
Pinkie Pie’s and Applejack’s styling courtesy of Mary; Trixie’s beautiful bob done by me and her plait by James. Sunset Shimmer is already fabulous, and nothing could be done for Shining Armor; he needs plugs.

Wahoo! I’ve hit the 75,000-word mark on Apprentice! The original ‘target’ for the first draft was 90k, but as Librarian ended up at 96k, I imagine its sequel is going well into the 100,000-word range. So! 75% of the way there on the first draft!

Of course, rather than continuing writing with my usual gusto, I took the moment to gather up all the wonderful ponies on my desk and have them do a little dance around my MacBook Pro to bestow upon Apprentice the magic of friendship.

I’m totally sane, right?

*goes back to playing with his dolls*

Red is the Color of Blood

November is over, and Christmas is creeping up with its icy jaws of death, ready to pillage my wallet and interrupt my workflow (speaking of Christmas, Librarian would make a great gift for loved ones who like books, HINT HINT). One upside to it being December, however, is that Movember is officially over, and I shaved the tribble off my face. I look twelve years old again. Huzzah!

On a more professional note, the first annotations for chapters one through four of Apprentice are completely worked into the first draft, which means it’s time for… THE RED PEN OF DOOM. This is the fun part where I go a little crazy and go over line by line of the printed material. This is also the stage where the insanity starts. When it finally goes to my copy-editor, prepare for all out bonkers.

Apprentice Proof (Chapters 1-4)
The text already threatens to strangle me, I swear.

Do I see the word “sparkle ponies” on page one? RUT-ROH. Remember, this is the version produced after I get delightful suggestions from my editor, some of which are like this:

Rib Poking

We do so enjoy to keep our comments lively. Hope everyone is staying warm; now, armed with my red pen, it’s back to work. Who will die first: Lenna or I!?

Brian Does Not Like to Edit
My money is on me dying first.

The Aftermath of a Nerdgasm

If you read the post from the other day where I refused to be productive because of the possibility of too much fandom going on in my life, you’ll know yesterday was pretty epic from a geek standpoint for me. I shan’t go into the details (SPOILERS), but suffice it to say I made too much food and got far too excited.

Also, I dropped a food processor on my knee, severely crippling my efforts at mastering this paso doble. Oh well.

There’s one more day until the FINAL (I mean it) Goodreads giveaway for Librarian ends so, really: it’s Sunday, it’s cold out — sign up if you haven’t! Meanwhile, I’m actually being a good boy and working on Apprentice.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Librarian by Brian Fence

Librarian

by Brian Fence

Giveaway ends November 25, 2013.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win


Thymey Whymey

Thyme and BoardNo, I’m not cutting up some illegal herb; it’s THYME! Get the post’s title now? Hee-hee, Brian’s puns are bad.

Life has been pretty mundane lately, and that’s a reason to make every event a little more special. Tonight I cooked herb-marinated pork tenderloins, roasted right in the pan; I accompanied them with couscous and shallots, Vichy carrots, and a green salad with a Dijon vinaigrette. Simple, rustic French cookery. Om-nom-nom.

Excitingly, I get to pop over to the library tomorrow to speak with the senior librarian about Librarian, and it just-so-happens that the main branch is across the street from one of my favorite local watering holes. There’s a connection her: MOAR WORK ON APPRENTICE (I’ve made no secret that I work best from pubs)!

I really need to push out the next couple chapters, and errrg, tonight was one of those nights in the shower when I was like, “Damn, I think this might need to be longer than a trilogy…” — no, Brian! NO! Squash that thought right now!

Wuts Video Game?

BUSY WEEK! Housesitting, housekeeping, working, writing… I haven’t even played any video games! Ah! At least it’s Friday, and I did manage to get the third part of my October serial, “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt” up. (Check it out here, or start from scratch at part one.)

Other than that, pretty much no work has been done on Apprentice this week because I’ve been running all over the place, or oddly enough, sleeping. This weekend I’m devoting to relaxation and good wine and, hopefully, loads more sleep.

On the news front, I’ve been invited to give an author talk at the Ocean County Library! It will take place on Tuesday, 28 January at 7 pm. More details to follow (as they come, and as I sort out what I’m going to blab about for an hour…)

Anyway! Innocuous (word of the YEAR) blog post all sorted out. IT’S FRIDAY! Time to Bao myself up!